Glossary

Apnea – a period of time when breathing stops / a pause in breathing of longer than 20 seconds.

Bagging – when a baby needs a reminder to breath they can be roused by gentle touching / tickling if that’s not enough they may require oxygen – in ICU the nurse can gently pumps oxygen into the lungs via a tube (the oxygen comes out of a bag hence the term bagging)

Bradycardia – a slowed heart rate (less than 80 beats per minute).

Canteen – the place for £1 cappuccinos, fried slices (see fried slices), spotted dick & custard and an above canteen average curry every Thursday (served with chips of course).

Chronic Lung Disease  (also known as CDG or BDL) – something which the doctors keep telling us isn’t as bad as the name suggests.  In which case, would the medical profession please put their collective genius together to come up with a better name which doesn’t scare the crap out of people, every time someone says it!?

CPAP – Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. Respiratory support delivering constant air through a small mask over the nose to help the air sacks.

Destat – when the saturation of oxygen in the blood falls below 88% i.e. The blood does not have enough Oxygen.

Doctors – genius magicians, who put the miracle into miracle babies.

Extubate – extracting the ventilator tube from the trachea.

Fried Slice – a mysterious fried item reportedly available as part of the full breakfast in the hospital canteen but either so popular there’s never any left or so unpopular that they never bother frying any.

Honorary Aunty – sitting somewhere between an OBE and a Knighthood, being granted Honorary Aunty status (an honour Savannah herself asks us to bestow on people) is a pretty BIG deal. On the list so far are Aunty Val and Aunty Sue for services to knitting, Aunty Abbie for services to Sam & Roz’s full bellies and Aunty Priya for services to explaining medial jargon and general nerve calming.

Incubator – plastic box for babies to lie in, as premature babies can’t keep themselves warm without help.

Intubate – putting the tube into the trachea for the ventilator.

Long line – intravenous line into a vein that delivers food and / or fluids when too unwell to take these through the mouth.

Nurses – the Debbie McGee’s of the magician doctors (although unlike Ms. McGee, they’re not just smiley pointless faces, following round a short rich man, they’re mini miracle workers themselves too).

Quiet Room – the hospital equivalent of the headmaster’s office. Not a place anyone wants to be sent to.

Secretions – mucus and fluid in the mouth, nose and throat. These can be suctioned using rubber tubing.

Ventilator – repository support which puffs breaths of Oxygen directly into the lungs via a tube through the mouth into the trachea and into the lungs.